A few of you wanted to know more about me, I have been hiding who I am for a reason, I don't know who I am any more.
I thought living on my own would be amazing, my own space do what I want, which is exactly true but I am to alone.
I have lost a lot of my close friends, Basically they have got a boyfriend and forgot I existed I was only there for them but they are not there for me, and it's sad to say these girls are actually who I would of classed as a close friend, others have moved away and can't be bothered to talk to me anymore.. it's sad to say but a month or more goes by and the only person to ring me is my mum. I may get a random tx 1 night for Barry asking me out, that's if I am lucky.
A lot of people are ashamed to say they have no friends but I guess I have to just deal with it.. I actually have NO friends!! .. no one who would willing call me up to check if I am still ALIVE!! no one to send me a tx asking how I am... I am lucky these days if I get a facebook comment... even them it's not exactly communication.
I often thought I was a bubbly person and when someone gets to know me I think I am.. but being alone for so long I have built this MASSIVE wall around me my home and my heart I don't know if it is people not bothering with me any more or if it is me shutting them out.. but then how can it be me, when no one even calls me..
I am sorry this is a sort of depressing blog post, but this is me.
I have met some great girls online via more magazine facebook page, and since more magazine blocked me from it after someone reported me for god knows what I have become even more depressed because I now really do have no one to talk to.. I also find I can't seem to say how I feel over facebook without being judged and I feel I am always being judged by old school "friends", college "friends" and other people.
I really don't know what to do any more
I don't sleep very well, I constantly cry and I have even started pushing my parents away, maybe if there is no one left to care for me I can vanish?
one of the most hardest things in life is being alone and I guess it does make you stronger in the end
so after this depressing post as you all know I love katie price, and I also quite like Peter Andre.. his new show here to help, I have applied, not because I want to meet him but because I need help to build my life, my social life and me back up again. I doubt very much it will work at all but I feel I am loosing hope.